dead alone

When I walked out of my apartment door yesterday, I saw two police officers down the hallway at a neighbor's open door. Apparently the reason why this neighbor had late rent notices on his front door the past several weeks was because he was dead. No, this is not the 'alarming neighbor' from my blog post yesterday - though I would've thought he would be the first to go on our floor. This was John. He was 70. And he died all alone.

The cops mentioned that they were still confirming that he died of natural causes. I asked around how they finally found out he was dead, but nobody knew... even the doorman shrugged his shoulders. Everyone just stated the obvious - that John kept to himself. I have to say that I am a bit surprised that his next door neighbor (who had probably lived next to him for at least 10 years) never realized something was wrong. But then again, I can't even say for sure I know what John looks like.

This reminded me how important it is to have close family and friends around. It makes me appreciate the friends that panic a bit when I don't return their calls within a few hours. But then again, a few hours may be too late. It takes only minutes to choke to death, and seconds to slip and hit your head against the bathroom sink.

Well, I guess once one dies, the body is just an empty vessel anyways. Though I'd like to believe that I still mattered more to people among the living.

MAN DEAD FOR MORE THAN A YEAR

alarming neighbor

I began to notice last week that my neighbor's alarm clock goes off every morning at 6am, which is incredibly annoying since I have no business waking up that early. Being that I am currently unemployed and accustomed to starting my days close to noon, hearing an alarm go off at 6am is akin to being woken up in the middle of the night.

As I stirred from my sleep that morning, I wasn't too bothered. Besides, people have schedules to attend to and I can respect a man who forces himself up early to face the day. However, 30 minutes later, the alarm was STILL ringing and I was STILL awake. My slight annoyance turned to severe frustration, mixed with concern. Perhaps he was not around. Or possibly, something had gone very wrong with him.

You see, my neighbor is on anti-psychotic medication. I know this because the neighbor who lives on the other side of him told me several months ago. He also told me a lovely story about how our troubled neighbor once left his gas stove on and a bunch of firemen had to break down his door to turn it off and remove him; he was then placed back into a psychiatric ward for a couple of months. I have only seen my neighbor a few times. I always say hello, but he just stares back at me with menacing eyes and disturbing facial gesticulations and he grumbles.

So it crossed my mind that the ringing was perhaps not from an alarm clock, but rather a CO2 alarm. I stepped out into the hallway, but there was no smell of gas. It just so happened that the neighbor who lives on the other side stepped out as well for his morning exercise. He assured me that it was in fact an alarm clock and that our troubled neighbor would eventually shut it off usually about an hour after going off. He mentioned that it didn't bother him too much since he gets up at the same time (by coincidence?) and was rather surprised that this was the first time I had noticed the alarm.

There are so many things that I have begun to notice over the course of being unemployed the last couple of months. Like that my lower-right back hurts. Perhaps its from doing too much yoga. Or maybe the floor under my bed is crooked, or that my chair is set at an angle. Or maybe its not really my lower back, but rather kidney stones. My friend Gregory perhaps gave the most probable explanation; perhaps there was nothing wrong with my back, and that I had too much time imagining ailments because there are many other ailments that have developed much more than ever before. But I digress. Back to the alarm.

I stepped back into my apartment, considering my options. Complain to the super? But I didn't feel right filing a complaint to management, without first addressing the problem directly with the neighbor. But I am afraid. I don't know what he is capable of. And I am not very confrontational. Well when push comes to shove I can be but this poor guy is surely having enough troubles. The other day, a couple of caretakers were pounding at his door, pleading for him to open up to take the new supply of meds that they had. It took a nerve racking 15 minutes for him to open the door. Despite my quips about his condition, I sympathize with his handicap. The least I can do is not add to his troubles.

So the only option left was to drown out the alarm noise. It amazes me how effective the shrill alarm clock ring cuts through other noises. But I guess that is its purpose. I noticed how comforting other sounds were that early morning - the humming from the elevator on the other side of my bedroom wall, the hissing from the steam heater in my bathroom, and various other noises outside my window. I turned on my fan - didn't work. Ear plugs - useless. As a last resort, I turned my stereo up really loud. I've always been able to sleep to music, and it worked like a charm. Besides the interruptive alarm ringing between the first few tracks, I was probably asleep by the fourth track. I just hope my neighbor doesn't come knocking on my door to complain.